Testosterone Towers stays home - Day 21

On this day in history I usually have a retreat day.
It's a movable feast, in terms of the date, but it's always the Monday before Easter.
I like to spend the day reflecting on the week ahead, Holy Week;
and it's important for me to spend time alone with God,
at the start of this week of all weeks.
So, Testosterone Towers, that lesser-known retreat centre, was my venue for the day.

I'll be honest with you, I didn't feel great when I woke today.
I often find that to be the case when I go on retreat.
Almost as if it's there when I most need it.
Funny that.

The weekend had been tricky.
Leadership is hard.
I'm well aware of that.
Over the past few months I've been reflecting on the phrase,
'The Priesthood of all believers.'
The fact that as a church, we all have a part to play.

I think I'm quite good at emphasizing the importance of team;
of encouraging, and empowering people to do what they do best.
But sometimes it's hard not to get caught up in the comparison game;
to see what others are doing, and feel like I'm failing.

I needed the space today to have my Lion King moment;
that point in the film when Mufasa comes to Simba in his despair and says;
"Remember who you are."
Bearing the image of the Father is something I can do.
My leadership, my ministry, my life may not look like anyone else's;
I'm ok with that most of the time.
And when I forget, scripture says
'Do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name you are mine.
(Isaiah 43:1)

The tools of my retreat day were as follows:
reading, music, walking, eating, knitting and watching part of The Passion.
I missed the input of the speaker, the singing, the stillness, the good coffee and great food,
but God spoke, which is really the point of retreat;
for me to hear him speaking.

See you tomorrow
Lots of love xx

PS One man, two guvnors was great.
It had us all laughing, which is always a bonus,
and it's free on Youtube until Wednesday night.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

20 years of ministry

I hadn't realised it myself. I'm not very good with dates, and years, and anniversaries. But yesterday my Facebook Timeline was full of it. It's 20 years since we were commissioned and ordained. 28th May 1993 at The Royal Albert Hall, London. As I listened to 'Our Songs' The ones written for us, and for the occasion I became a bit nostalgic. As I looked at the video And saw my friends and colleagues I almost felt a pang of grief For the people we were The things we shared. But this is a letter to the 25 yr old girl I was then From the woman I am now "You made it! By the skin of your teeth at times but you got there in the end. And this ending Full of brass, and drums, and singing and laughter and drama and dance is just the beginning. In the years ahead you will know joy Real joy Laughing so hard no sound comes out. Friendships that are only in their infancy here Will become your anchor in the days ahead. And people that ...
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Song

Image
It's our Silver Wedding Anniversary on Tuesday. 25 years. I told someone the other day and she gasped, and said, "You don't look old enough" Which is absolutely the right response. We're having a few friends over next Friday night to celebrate. There will be food And dancing And fun And song. 'Our song' to be precise. As we met in the 80's, Our song is 'Solid' (Ashford and Simpson). It's the song we used to dance to at parties. It's the song that made us laugh. It's the song we always talk about when reminiscing. Our 25 years together hasn't been perfect You won't be surprised to hear that. There has been much joyful song. But sometimes the notes have turned dischordant. Sometimes we've sung in a minor key. More recently we have sung songs of lament. But to mis-quote Gloria Gaynor We have survived. We're still standing (Elton John) And we're still singing from the same hymn ...
Read more

STOP! Look and listen.

I helped at Nathan's Christmas Fair yesterday. It was packed with excited children and exhausted parents, so pretty much business as usual. Do you ever want to scream STOP at this time of year? Enough. Too much already. Mum, my sister and I sorted out Dad's things on Tuesday. As we filled the car with bags for the charity shop it felt so final. A person's life contained in a car-load. STOP. Enough. Too much already. Today has been a better day. The sun has shone. The sky turned a brilliant blue after the snow showers. And I had a lovely coffee with Chris at the Garden Centre. As we were driving back I remembered the Advent challenge I gave our congregation a few years back. It came from the carol, 'It came upon the midnight clear', And the challenge was to 'Hush the noise, ye men (and women) of strife And hear the angels sing.' Or, STOP. Look for the reality of His presence in the madness of Christmas. Listen for Him. His ange...
Read more