Testosterone Towers stays at home - Day 31

Day 31...
In some ways it hardly seems possible.
In others, it feels much longer.

We've just had the announcement that lock-down continues for at least three more weeks.
We were expecting it, but it's sobering nonetheless.

A friend messaged me after yesterdays post;
She wondered if my tears were a sign that I needed to take care?
If Chris being ill meant I'd been running at a fast speed,
and all the while the world had been changing around me?

Thank God for friends who put into words what I struggle to articulate.
I haven't really allowed myself time to process the situation we're in;
to make space for the loss and the grief;
and to acknowledge that programme may have stopped,
but my responsibilities have changed and increased in unforseen ways.
I've tried to fit it in, but pressure has been fairly relentless, even for me;
and I put a lot of effort into self-care.

This evening I have to acknowledge that I can't be everything that everyone needs me to be.
Even for one day.
I'm not Jesus.
I'm one of his much-loved disciples.
I can only do what I can do.
Other people doing what they can do, will fill the gaps.
And the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest:
Empowering,
Encouraging,
Enabling.

Lots of love xx

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