Earth is crammed with heaven

I’m not a huge fan of Mother’s Day. I love being a Mum. I love my boys. I love my Mum. But Mother’s Day always feels a bit weird. Bittersweet. Tinged with sadness. Grief. What if’s. You too? Today’s word is ‘Rest’. So to misquote Little Mix, this is a  ‘Shoutout to the rest’ Here’s to the rest of you. I’m so grateful for you. The would-be Mums The not-yet Mums The I’m really glad I’m not Mums The never will be Mums. The really wish I was Mums. The I miss my Mum so much Mums. Don’t feel ‘less than’ today. Don’t feel you have to be what you’re not. Don’t worry that you’re not someone’s  ‘Like a mother to me.’ Or ‘Spiritual Parents’ Or anything else you feel you’re expected to be. Stop Breathe Smile  We love you Just the way you are Thank you for who you are. For sharing your life with ours. Today  And everyday  PS I may not be a fan of Mother’s Day  But I’m a massive fan of these four.

I watched the film, ‘Mary Magdalene’ today. I wanted to be her. From the archives: "Mary" Jesus said. She turned and cried out "Master." John 20:16 Amid life With it's twists and turns Hopes and dreams Love calls my name. In times of joy Laughter Excitement Love calls my name. When I doubt Fear Despair Love calls my name In my life With it's twists and turns... hopes and dreams... Love calls my name Love True love Forgiving love Real love A love full of life Hope And possibility Calls me by my name.

I think too much. I’ve been told it lots of times By lots of different people  So it must be true. Over recent years I’ve realised  That spending time in my own head Isn’t always a good idea. Mindfulness has taught me  to be a bit less judgmental about my thoughts. They’re not good  Or bad They just are. I can notice them and let them go. I do however like a good ponder. It keeps me creative. It’s not thinking the same things over and over But  Considering  Reflecting  Contemplating  I start with a seed thought and run. Not literally  Obviously. Today’s pondering spot was a pond opposite our house. I walked  Listened Pondered Threw a stick  And heard  Three different bird songs. My head was a bit full when I left. It was less so when I returned. My heart was lighter  My spirit lifted. I can recommend it. Anyone fancy a ponder?

I’m learning to like being with people again. I may not chat excessively  but sometimes I will. I cherish moments to sit alongside Sharing views, Beauty Food  Laughter Tears And now and then  The slight leaning towards each other. The one that says  I know. I’m here. I have no words. Let’s just sit with each other. Our hearts connected through shared experience 

I am weary today. I had the best swim ever this morning. Spring is here and my endorphins are rejoicing. For the remainder of today  I will mainly be resting. Please send fruit. Or chocolate. Bearing fruit requires balance.

Some of you will know  we had a lot of deaths in our family in 2012. Once the funerals were over and birthdays and anniversaries began to roll around,  We realised that if we marked them all, We would be living in an almost constant state of remembrance. With the range of emotions that would bring. We decided instead that our remembrance  Of parents and grandparents  Would happen naturally.  With a joke, A smile  Their favourite food  A bottle of Irn Bru A “What would Grandad have said?” Laughter And tears that spring unbidden. Chris’s parents bought us a camellia  when we moved from Accrington. We planted it in a big tub In the ground  So that when we moved we could take it with us. It lived there for 13 years. When we moved to Harlow we bought  A beautiful new pot. Fresh soil. And it bloomed for a few years. Every year since they died, I watched with nervous anticipation  For the buds to appear. And the

High Leigh Retreat Centre Things I’ve learnt this week: 1. My circumstances change all the time  so I can take each day on it’s merits. 2. I have some lovely colleagues  who I’m still getting to know. 3. God surprises me. All the time. 4. I love it when a plan comes together. 5. I am back. 6. I am confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord Here In the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

I had a tooth out today. It wasn’t expected  But rather than wait and see, I decided it was best to just get rid. Today’s word is Repent. Maybe the time has come to stop messing about. Putting up with pain. Deadening the discomfort  And maybe deal with stuff in our lives that shouldn’t be there. Maybe it’s time to accept who we are. Imperfect but dearly loved. Everything can be redeemed. Trust me, I know. And as for the photo, This, boys and girls, is what happens  when you eat too much sugar. (Post-op. Still numb.)

Following on from yesterday’s post; The reality was much better than expected. I came away with more blessings  than I gave. Isn’t that often the way with Sacrifice? Sometimes it’s just our willingness to say yes that’s the hard part.

I’ve been a Church Leader for almost 26 years now. Over the years the role has varied a bit. Responsibilities have changed. Some things are now “a requirement for officers “ That weren’t when I signed up. And some things I no longer do in an effort to prevent the ‘boom or bust’ of living with depression for all of those years. I work and live within strict boundaries Parts of my role that were once as familiar as my breath Are now rare. One of our congregation is dying. I haven’t visited since her diagnosis. My partner in life, crime and ministry has been every week. He’s good like that. Today we will go to the hospice together. I want to see her. Even though I have little to offer her. We go. In the footprints  of countless ministers of religion  all over the world To be present. To share scripture. To pray words of life as the days of her life draw to a close. I can be present  because the one who loves me most

Would you have chosen  1. To swim  twice a month through the winter? 2. For a total of at least 5000m? 3. In temperatures between 1-8 degrees? If you ended up with the best medal ever? Yes I know I look a bit special in the photo. But I’ve only ever won one medal before. I was never chosen for sports teams as a child. So I’m quite pleased with myself.

We praised her for being good on that day. She didn’t bark Or chase the ball Or run to Nathan on the pitch. In truth, she didn’t behave like a dog at all. I guess she wanted to please us. I wonder If being ‘good’ means repressing who we are. If it means conforming to people’s expectations. Toning everything back or down. Maybe being ‘good’ is overrated. Maybe what we should be aiming for is  Truth  Honesty Genuineness  We do ourselves a disservice when we aren’t true to ourselves. When we strive to be the person others would like us to be. After all  ‘Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty’ (Matilda the Musical )

The offer came out of the blue. Not quite our heart's desire, but pretty close. We weighed up the pros and cons, but if we were after a bespoke dog, this one was perfect. A little girl. A coat that wouldn't make me sneeze. Up-to-date vaccinations. House-trained. And free! It's our 4th Daisy-versary today. She brings me so much joy I can't tell you. We love her. And..... She's so cute!

It’s possible to accomplish things. Even if you think you’ve nothing left. It may not be abseiling 70ft off Black Rock  But the little things? Those things that take  Strength  Courage  Resilience  Persistence  Pure grit and determination  Those things that take all you have? I know how hard it is. I see you. I hear you. I’m standing with you.  I’m praying for you. May the God of hope  fill you with all joy and peace  as you trust in Him. (Romans 15:13)

Life was dazzling in its beauty. So she followed it Step by step Until she was lost in Wonder Love & Praise

Prayer.... A place of refuge Of grace Of Encouragement. A shelter from the storm. A place to express our longings Our hopes  Our dreams  Knowing we are heard Understood  Seen All the while, knowing that our ways are not His. Things may not turn out as we hoped But still we go. “Prayer is sitting in the silence  Until it silences us, Choosing gratitude  Until we are grateful, And praising God until we ourselves  Are an act of praise’  Richard Rohr 

I enjoy a challenge as much as the next person. But sometimes I wonder if always straining towards the next thing  Is robbing us of joy in the present. Life doesn’t have to be a constant test. Sometimes the challenge is to stop. To breathe. To relax. To appreciate. To become aware. To remind ourselves of who we are. Beloved. Blessed. Loved just the way we are. As Daisy demonstrates in today’s photos: Why would you jump through a hoop if you don’t have to?

Given "You'll get what you're given and like it" Is that the response of parents everywhere, to fussy eaters, at least once in their little lives? Well this is what I was given last week. It's not supposed to be there. I didn't plant it. It's pushed it's way through soil, plastic and stones; Gently Quietly and how much joy they bring to my heart. 'For each perfect gift of Thine,  to our race so freely given. Graces Human and divine. Flowers of earth and buds of heaven. Father Unto Thee we raise This Our sacrifice of praise.' (Folliott Sandford Pierpoint) (No relation as far as I know!)

Day 2 - Tempted I've always wanted to swim here. It seems the perfect spot. There's a safe place to get in and out. I could pop in, swim a bit,  and be back on dry land before you know it. There's just the teeny, tiny matter of the little round sign. The one that means 'No Swimming'. The one that's edged in red to imply danger. The one that I'm tempted to ignore. What possible reason could they have for me not swimming? There's never anyone official around. Who's to know?  I could do a Ninja swim. Couldn't I? The short answer is of course, 'Yes'. The long answer requires more involved thinking. You may or may not be pleased to know I haven't swum there. As to whether I ever will, I couldn't possibly comment. I do however, think that honesty in the little things is important. One day it might matter. Who knows, there could be a resident monster in that lake...

Flat white is my coffee of choice. Every time I walk Daisy at the lake I go via McDonald’s Drive-Thru and pick one up. Or sometimes two. The problem is that one is not usually enough. I can fit two in my travel cup if I remember it. The only trouble is this happens. Does that mean it’s too full? Or am I carrying it wrong. Is it a leak? Or an overflow? This Lent I’m not giving anything up. The plan is to discipline my wayward brain in an attempt to get me writing again. And so each of the #Rethinkchurch photo challenges I do will have a short post with it. As I journey through Lent towards Easter I’m praying for a full heart to accompany my oft o’er-laden brain. A heart that sees And shares And loves With the best of all I have. ‘Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks ‘ Luke 4:45