Earth is crammed with heaven

We popped to see my Mum today. We’re so fortunate to have her close enough to form part of our support bubble. Daisy asked to come too as she hadn’t seen Nanny for a little while. Today should be our day off, but I decided it would be worth doing some work that was weighing heavy on my mind. I’ve faced facts, and enlisted the help of my friend tomorrow. She’s furloughed until Thursday so is glad to help. I haven’t told her yet that I’m appointing her as project manager. I’m hoping she’ll keep me focused. Last night I was thrilled to receive some messages from people who had watched our Facebook live. They thanked us for ‘bringing church to them.’ Never underestimate the power of an encouraging word.  Especially at the moment.  Especially when the recipient is having a bit of a wobble. “I will bless you... and you will be a blessing” Genesis 12:2 Lots of love xx 11 years ago today, after my graduation. Sorry boys x

Today is the first Sunday in Advent and it was a joy to share worship from home on Facebook Live. We’ve decided to make it a feature, once a week through Advent, and maybe beyond. We’re so aware of those who are sharing with us, who can’t attend church. We can’t just stop, once we are back worshiping in the hall on a Sunday. So hopefully we’ll stream live from the church, and from home in the week. It’s quite exciting. It’s quite gloomy out today, so I’m appreciating the Christmas lights. We’re getting our Christmas things out gradually this year, so it’s lovely to have our two main Nativities out. I’m enjoying our Advent theme: ‘How far is it to Bethlehem?’ and looking forward to journeying together. Today I’m reflecting on the ‘excess baggage’ we carry. For me, I get easily distracted by things that don’t concern me. Then the spiral begins of resentment, and anger, if I let it. When this familiar pattern starts, I’m trying to stop it in it’s tracks, by throwing it back to Jesus. ...

I had a text from the NHS this morning. I was asked to take a COVID test, which came back negative thankfully. I didn’t seriously think I had it, but isolated just in case. I had the results in less than 24 hours. I was very impressed. I still felt a bit off it this morning. We’re still unsure about what the new restrictions mean for churches. I had a chat with my boy; (Chris, not Jesus as my friend asked earlier. Though I’m sure he was involved in the conversation.) and felt a bit better. The river is definitely dropping in temperature, but it was incredible, just the same.  It never fails. Pizza has just arrived. Happy Saturday! Lots of love xx

I’m not feeling great today, so this is just a short post. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, but I’m going to stay home and rest. Just in case. I hope you have a good day. Lots of love xx

What have you done today to make you feel proud? Well, today I ate a jam doughnut without getting it down my jumper. Small victories are so important at the moment. I’ve been getting stuff ready for our visits over the next few weeks. It’s quite time consuming, but I’m enjoying it, and it doesn’t take too much brain power.  Always a bonus. We’re hoping to doorstep-visit everyone, and deliver some Advent gifts. That’s the plan anyway. I’ll keep you posted. I hope you’ve had a good day. Small victories are the way forward. Lots of love xx

 After an early-morning swim in the river, today seems to have been non-stop so far. I'm at home now, with a cup of coffee and a chocolate biscuit. If you haven't tried McVities VIB's orange flavour, you must. Other biscuits are available. (But not as nice...) I have spent part of the day at the church.  If I felt so inclined, I could give you a snapshot of my 'have-done list.' But instead, I have decided to share some thoughts with you about our current stress levels. These weeks are always full to the brim with plans and preparations, for services, for ways we are helping struggling families, Christmas plays, Carol Services, Carolling, shopping, family stuff, and a whole host of things I can't think of at the moment. This is my 28th Christmas as a Salvation Army Officer, and this time of the year is always, always busy. With no exceptions.  Ever. Until now... Now before you shout me down, and tell me to speak for myself, I am.  I would class myself as steadily...

Hands up if you were anxiously awaiting Boris’s announcement last night? Hands up if you were still confused at the end? Hands up if you went to bed with more questions than answers? It’s hard not to be overwhelmed as a leader at the moment. I  had my usual panic, and now I seem to have settled down a bit, while we wait to discover what the new, guidelines actually mean for churches.  I’ll keep you posted. Life at the moment seems to be a case of putting my head down, and getting on with the things that are possible. All the while, trying not to think too far ahead. Thankfully I believe in a God who makes all things beautiful in his time. This was clear as the day drew to a close. I hope you’ve had a good day. Lots of love xx

Happy Stir Up Sunday! Anyone who has any remote connection to me, will know how excited I get about today. It’s a gift of a day in my view. A day of pre-Advent preparation. We ask God to stir us, gently preferably,  before we commence our journey through Advent. Chris and I enjoyed sharing a few thoughts as we worshipped this morning, and broadcast it on Facebook Live. It went a bit more smoothly this week, and the purchase of a tripod has made all the difference. Every day’s a school day. I love that it’s live. I love that people join with us. I love sharing my faith in a way that feels real. I love that it reaches people who would never think about coming to church, ordinarily. As I drove for a swim a little later, I prayed and sang, and asked God to protect me from becoming discouraged. People say things without thinking. Some have their own agenda, and that’s ok. But I continue to look up and not sideways. What others are doing has no bearing on anything. We do what we can. Tha...

Monday is our day off. Back in the old days of our separate appointments, Chris and I didn’t see much of each other during the two years. But we fought for him to have Monday off, and so the Facebook album of ‘Monday Selfies’ was born. Having proper time off is important anytime, But crucial at the moment. It would be easy to let the days flow into one another. So today we went for a long walk to one of our favourite places. It’s very familiar to us, particularly me, but what I  love is you can walk a different path every time. There’s always something different to see, to hear,  to appreciate. It’s also the place where I walk by the river and recite Psalm 23. He guides, he leads, he restores... Always. And the Monday Selfie? There you go! I hope you’ve had a good day. Lots of love xx

 I spent about 15 minutes on the phone with a lady from our church this morning. I phone her every week to share the Wonder-full Worship for the week with her, as she's partially-sighted and unable to read it herself. She found it quite amusing when I told her I was sat cuddling a hot-water bottle. I was still a little chilly after my morning swim.  I love spending that time with her. It's one of those things in ministry that looks like me helping her, but I get such a lot from it. One of the joys that has come out of the pain of lockdown. It also meant I could have a run through of the live worship for tomorrow. It's Stir-Up Sunday. I'm very excited. Daisy enjoyed her walk in the woods afterwards. She graciously allowed Chris and I to accompany her, and suggested I video-called Nanny, so she could appreciate the Autumn scene too.  I did, and she did.  Daisy showed off, and a good time was had by all. Something of Daisy's excitement, and wonder, at very familiar thi...

Today, the part of today will be played by yesterday. Please tell me I’m not the only one who is struggling? It’s 3pm on Friday afternoon and I could quite happily go to bed until further notice. The reason for this is unclear. I got some work done last night,and this morning, that pleased me greatly. I spent a couple of hours with my lovely Mum, who seemed remarkably well, in comparison to the last few months. We ate lovely food and had mother/daughter chats. The M25 was clear, so I’m home in good time. So why do I feel like a Space Cadet? I was chatting to our chefs at the hall this morning, and I think we’re missing the things we would use to distract us when we feel like this. The cinema, a coffee shop, a hug, a meet-up. And it’s raining. Again. So here’s the deal. I’m not going to tell myself off for ingratitude, self-absorption, or being a misery. I’m not wallowing. I’m just being honest. But I’m going to write three things I’m grateful for.  Not because I should, but because...

 Today saw a change to the advertised programme. We had planned to pop and see my Mum for a few hours at lunch time.                                                     She is in our bubble, so we're allowed to meet. But as I spent most of yesterday, and overnight, with a headache and feeling sick, we decided not to risk passing anything on, so postponed it. This morning we had a pastoral Zoom with our divisional leaders.     It was good to spend some time with them, not least because they could see how much better Chris is looking.  He's not quite earning his 'Tigger' reputation again yet, but he's well on the way. Another good thing was the feeling of connection.  People setting time aside for us, to listen, share and laugh.   And of course, the joy of being prayed with, and for.   In our role, we are u...

A few months ago I became aware that there seemed to be a lot of false positivity around. It bothered me that we weren’t able to express ourselves truthfully.  We didn’t want to be letting the side down. So, on my Facebook page, once a week, we have Whinging Wednesday. The rules are 1. People can post three things that they want to complain about. 2. No naming of names. 3. No judgement, or one-up-manship on who has the right to moan. 4. Use the hashtag. #WhingingWednesday It’s been fun. Some weeks not many people post. And others, like today, all kinds of people are sharing their complaints within seconds of the post going up. Some days people, including myself, struggle to find three things to moan about. And others, I get requests for three more. Life is a bit like that at the moment. On any given day, like today, I can swing from being bright-eyed and bushy tailed one minute, to “Please don’t speak to me, look at me, or breathe near me. Just bring coffee and treats at regular in...

Testosterone Towers has been a hive of activity today. Advent preparation, worship sheets, emails, texts and calls. This was punctuated by "We've had another one!" when donations were made to the Just Giving page. It's set up for our Christmas work.  If you usually help, the link is here  Harlow Christmas present Appeal . We're very grateful. I like mornings like these, when I feel as if I'm accomplishing something.  Especially at the moment when it seems as if we're in limbo all the time. The joy of crossing things off a to-do list.  Hands up if you sometimes add them after you've done them, just for the pleasure of crossing them off? My prayer this morning came from Twitter: Lord of the Morning,  sustaining all creation, visible and invisible,  awaken me to your presence. He did. Lots of love xx

It was Miss Heather Small who asked the eternal question... You know the one. Miranda sang it at least once a day: “What have you done today to make you feel proud?” I have a friend who is blatant in self-love. Some of you probably know her. Over the last few weeks she’s been posting every day of something she loves about herself. And strangely it doesn’t feel weird, or show-offy. It just feels inspirational. A kind of, “I want what she’s having.” So today I’m asking. “What have you done today to make you feel proud?” Please let me know in the comments. Even if the hardest thing you did today was got out of bed and faced the world. I have those days too: Mine isn’t probably what you think. Well it was while I was swimming, obvs, but it was the fact I met someone new. She’s a swimmer from another area and was exploring new places to swim. We chatted about the water and she spotted for me from the bank.  I couldn’t have gone in otherwise. Later she posted a photo of me on a swimming ...

Things I’ve learned today: 1. I need to buy a tripod. 2. Things that would take a while in a service, just fly on Facebook Live. 3. There’s a beautiful tree just up the road. Every day’s a school day.   We’ve lost a lot this year, it’s true. But what an opportunity for connection this year has brought. The main focus of worship for Harlow SA since the beginning of lockdown has been our worship sheet.  But in recent weeks I’ve had a real sense of the need to present something live. Not a service. There are plenty of those. But more a point of connection when we can spend a few moments in the presence of God. The response is blowing me away. Mainly because people are getting in touch who are unable to attend church, even pre-COVID-19, for many different reasons.  These are friends, colleagues, people who have crossed our path over the years, and members of our own church. There seems to be a connection with people that wasn’t possible, or considered, before. I’ll admit, it’...

“And then. It started. Raining. And the rain came down. And the floods came up. Then the rain came up. And fooled everybody” You can have 10 points if you can tell me where those lines are from. It’s Saturday. It’s raining. I’m tired. I feel a bit meh, but I’ve had a swim. I’m now in my pj’s drinking coffee. It’s not the best thing for me, I’ll be honest. At the moment, being idle isn’t that helpful. But I do need some rest, so it’s just getting the balance right. Maybe I need to get the knitting out? Or the colouring? Or the Christmas cards that need writing? Lockdown is hard on days like today. But we’re thrilled to receive the news that a baby has been born. Such joy, and how lovely to have something to celebrate. I hope you’ve had a good day. The rain will stop, I promise. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon! Lots of love xx

My friend Anique won the award for the best idea of the day today. It has been another funny one. I was talking to an officer at a nearby corps this afternoon, and sharing Advent resources. My obsession with Advent seems to be coming into it's own this year, and I'm happy to share. We were commenting how our energy levels fluctuate at the moment.  I seem to be either full of energy and creativity,  or a big lump of nothing-ness. I think it's to do with the ever-present restlessness and anxiety that Covid-19 creates. It takes up a lot of brain space at times. Anyway, back to my friend Anique who had a brainwave,  just as I was completing the worship sheet for next week. An hour later and I was at the river, entering the world of the 'dusk-dippers.' I hadn't realised how many people, of all ages, swim as the light is fading. What a wonderful end to the week. I hope you've had a good day. And if you're struggling, this comes with love and prayers for a bett...

I’ ve been thinking today about gratitude. I’ve never worked in an industry that gets tips. Can you imagine preaching a sermon and getting a tip at the end of it?  Or not, as the case may be? I was thinking more about the importance of saying thank you.  Partly because I can be stroppy at times. I know. and having spent several hours at the weekend doing something to send in an email to over 60 people, I’m a bit miffed that only a handful said thank you. I know we’re busy, but... Also because I know I can be ungrateful at times. I forget to say thank you, especially when, in my view, people are just doing their job. But knowing how much a word of appreciation affects me, I know I should make more of an effort. It’s a fine line. You don’t want to become one of those people whose praise is meaningless because you go OTT all the time. But equally, credit where credit is due.  It’s important that people know they are appreciated. So today’s thoughts are: 1. People can be ungr...

 I never sleep well on a Tuesday night.  I think it's a combination of old habits and late working,  but recently it's meant I've been up and out for a sunrise swim at a local river. This morning was no exception, and I was in Hertford before 7, listening to the birds and watching the sky transform, as I waited for my swimming buddy. An hour or so later and I was home for toast and jam and a few cups of coffee. Today has felt quite productive, although I still seem to have a bit of marshmallow-brain. A kind of hang-over from yesterday I think. I was grateful to our Bandmaster, Andi who recorded the Last Post, and sent it to me at the weekend. I played it out loud as I stood, paused, and remembered at 11am.  It's been hard trying to organise and plan the Corps Christmas Present Appeal, but I think we're ready. The vouchers are ordered, the Just-giving page is set up, so now we're hoping for generosity from people, who may well be struggling themselves.  It's ...

 Today I have mainly been feeling a little eleveno'clock-ish. I think it's Pooh bear who coined the phrase. I told a friend, who had never heard it before. She said, "Do you mean you just want to drink tea and eat biscuits?" Pretty much. Not exactly tired, well not physically, but more mentally/emotionally. Typically, I wanted to get loads of prep done for Advent today, and I've got nothing. What do you do when you feel like that? Firstly, I went for a walk. I thought I'd be inspired by Autumn colour. It was ok... Secondly, I ate something. Healthy. I'm trying. Thirdly, I thought about going for a swim. Then realised it was probably a bit close to sunset. So I did a bit of yoga. Watched a bit of telly. Drank some water, and decided to write this. Maybe I'll get some inspiration later.  Days don't always go to plan. In my heart, I think I knew I needed a day like today, but was trying to be disciplined. That went well. Maybe next time, I'll be a...

Chris put up the Christmas Tree today. Now before you start telling me what day it is, I know. But it is a new tree and you have to check these things. Then maybe leave them up for a bit, until it's not worth taking it down. That was the plan anyway, Unfortunately it had a screw loose. And the lights didn't work on the bottom section. So now it's back in the box to return, and there's another one on the way. The best laid plans, and all that. The thing is I don't mind if Christmas starts early this year. We could do with a bit of light, life and love at the moment. Does singing along to Christmas music in the car count as work? It's good for Advent prep after all. Now where's my Amy Grant album? I hope you've had a good day today. Lots of love xx                                                My broken tree has a face and looks like an emu.

 It felt like a baptism as I entered the river. The sun was warm on my face. The water clear. I raised my hands and face to the sky and declared myself full of the joy of the Lord. Then I was off.  The water like silk on my skin.  The temperature bracing. Perfect. Just perfect. This morning had been a little nerve-wracking as we broadcast our first worship from home via Facebook Live. Harlow Salvation Army had worked hard to create a safe environment for people to meet for worship. Then after only three weeks, we were back to the drawing board, with the banning of led-services in England. My reason for rejoicing was not because it went well, though it did I think. Nor because of the numbers of views it has received, but because as I leaned on my car waiting for my swimming buddy, I became aware, again, of the goodness of God. Of the sense of the individual parts of our church,  all doing their thing, and still able to glorify God, even though we are apart. And do you...

Today started with a beautiful drive to a place where I could have a swim. The water felt really icy, even with the sunshine. Much colder than Wednesday, in the early morning mist. I feel really fortunate that outdoor swimming is still permitted. Along with perfect coffee and scrummy cake. The rest of the afternoon was spent collating Advent Resources I recklessly offered to share. It took much longer than I thought, but it’s done now. I really love Advent so it wasn’t too much of a hardship. How wonderful that it is just around the corner. All that joy. The hope. The possibilities. Finally, something to look forward to. Hope you’ve had a good day. Lots of love xx

 Today saw us taking a slightly slower start. A few weeks ago, as another lockdown was looming, I had a chat with our Centre Co-ordinator about what we would need to do personally, to manage lockdown for a second time. For me, I needed time to process it. I didn't want to feel the sense of being on a hamster wheel, that I felt last time.  In some ways, it won't happen. A lot of the things we needed to implement and put in place, are still there. We have had to decide how best to do the toy appeal, but other than that... So I will be intentional about resting,  and pausing before acting or reacting. Probably. Possibly. You know! It's hard to keep things in perspective.  Especially as we are all reacting differently to our current circumstances. One thing I have been doing this week is Movember.  Doing some form of exercise every day, for at least 15 minutes, throughout November.  I've done one swim, and the rest was walking. Daisy doesn't know what has hit h...

 Well here we are again. I thought I would pick up my blog to help me process the next few weeks in Lockdown 2. Key changes this time are: 1. Testosterone Towers is no longer at full capacity. One of the residents has left the building for a Towers of his own. We miss him. 2. The paddling pool isn't set up in the garden. Yet. As we are well into the winter swimming season, it looks as if I can travel to a river for my fix. It was 10 degrees at 7am yesterday. Perfect. 3. We have had a bit more notice this time. It feels less of a shock as we enter a month of staying at home. From a work perspective, we still have a lot of things in place that we had to create and implement last time. We are carrying on mostly as before. 4. Chris is back to about 60-70% capacity. He still suffers from fatigue, headaches and breathlessness. Long covid is alive and well in TT, but we're grateful for recovery. As I write, I feel fairly confident for the days ahead. But I know that in the last few da...