Earth is crammed with heaven

“Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.” It’s a phrase that keeps coming back to me at the moment. As leaders we’ve had to make some tough decisions this week. Places of worship are allowed to hold services, under the terms of this lockdown. But I still felt unsure. The risks felt high, and while I felt deeply for those for whom meeting for worship is a lifeline in their loneliness, we made the decision as a team, not to meet. It was a really hard decision, but now that Public Health Essex have asked places of worship not to open, it is the right one. Just because we can doesn’t mean we should. I had a similar dilemma today. It’s been six days since my last swim. That’s a long time in my world. Guidance is that we can travel for exercise, but it doesn’t say how far. The paddling pool would just freeze at the moment, so that’s not an option. The upshot was that Chris, Daisy and I traveled a short distance so I could swim, and they could walk. I think Chris recognised some of the s...

It's interesting that yesterday was designated rude-words day;  then today, always #WhingingWednesday around these parts, dawned unnoticed until well after lunch. Maybe there's something about sitting with how you feel for a while, after all? It's worked for me anyway. I went to bed last night, relieved that tough decisions had been made, so I slept soundly and woke feeling content. Admittedly, I was a little jealous of a generous snowfall, where we used to live. But I smiled at the pictures, and set off to work on foot. The next few days, we have agreed, will need to be an unhurried assessment of the situation. No panicking. Just looking at what is, and seeing not only what needs to be done; but what needs to be done by us, by our church, by me. As I walked home, being on foot meant I could stop and do some doorstep visits, share some prayers, and make some phone calls.  A highlight was a little boy on his bike whose eyes lit up when he saw me. "Mummy it's Amanda!...

Today has been designated a rude word day. Well, in my mind, anyway. Life stinks. There’s no getting away from it. Historically, when we have gone into Lockdown of one kind or another, the first 24 hours is one of extremes.  We knew it was coming, but still feel blindsided. There have been tears. Lots of tears. And a few tantrums if I’m honest. I think it’s important to go with it. For me, anyway. Pretending things are ok when they’re clearly not, is a strategy I’ve been familiar with in the past. But it’s not a good one. At least, it’s never worked for me. So today has been mainly about facing reality. “Life is poo, so sing about it” (paraphrase mine). I offer these thoughts in the hope that you may relate, but it’s not a promise to blog every day as in previous lockdowns. We’ll see how it goes. I do however want to send you my love, and my prayers for today, and the days that lie ahead. ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who ...

I'm not one for New Year Resolutions. January can be tough enough without adding the F word of fail to my weak attempts at getting thin and fit. However I have learnt a few things this year which I am happy to share. 1. God is everywhere. I mean really everywhere. There is no place where I am that He is not. So every fear Every failure Any revelation I never knew Is known And felt And understood... I mean really understood by him. Nothing without him. 2. I don't need to rush. God told me this on Christmas Eve. Take your time. Be measured. Deliberate. I don't accomplish any more by rushing. It just sends my anxiety levels rocketing. He knows what I need to do. Trust him. 3. Other people's opinions vary. Enormously. What they think of me has no bearing on anything. Ooh that was a tough one for a recovering people-pleaser to hear. You can imagine. Ultimately The only opinion that counts is God's. And He often expects less of me than I...

It was a dark, rainy night. At the end of the shortest day of the year, she held her breath as she entered the water. As she exhaled, she felt it leave; the stress the angst the pressure of life and ministry. And when she inhaled? She felt freedom like no other. In that moment, there was nothing in the world that mattered, but her breath. Her oneness with the elements. Her communion with God himself who promised that she would know the truth, and the truth would set her free. The mystery and power overwhelmed her. She felt human again. No, more than that. She felt whole. A completeness that was long overdue, after weeks of wondering if others were aware of her humanity, amid it all. She gave it all to the One who loved her so much that he became human, like she was. If anyone understood, it was him. And as she left the water it felt like a baptism. Light, life and love... Healing. Cleansing. Restoration. “Flow through my soul, redeem its desert places, and make a garden there for the L...

Well that escalated quickly! After the shock of yesterday’s announcement, with it’s accompanying calls, explanations and tears, it felt a privilege to be able to meet for worship this morning. When everything falls apart, we return to what we know. In the beginning was the word... The light shines in the darkness... The darkness has not, will not, cannot put it out. We were angry, upset, frustrated and sad, but we brought it all to Emmanuel, God with us. He came into the muck, and the mess of the world, and became one of us. And still... Still God imparts to human hearts,  the blessings of his heaven. Life may be a rude word at the moment,  but Christmas isn’t cancelled. It can’t be. Thinking of you all, and sending love xx

I have been really conflicted this week. It’s been the b-word, as you’d expect, but there’s been a sense of accomplishment too. I struggle with the broadcasting of every little thing people do. I know some people do it for prayer-support, and to encourage people to donate, and I get that. But there’s something I find very moving about people going about their business with humility and grace, and no camera Really moving... At the same time, I’m so proud of our church. The work they do. The people they help. The lives they change. That’s why I’m conflicted. I want to pay tribute to them. They truly are incredible. Speaking of which, I spotted this little beauty in the car park at the hall. Just doing it’s thing... I hope you’ve had a good day. Lots of love xx