On World Mental Health Day

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=14KD9UfZ7XaLI2q-LEgDKMU2RS3JnFUsE

My name’s Karen and I live with depression.
It’s been three years since my last major episode.

On World Mental Health Day I want to write something, but I almost didn’t for a number of reasons.

1. The second sentence above. It’s been three years.
2. I have spoken to friends as recently as this week, who are really ill with depression.
3. I’m not superstitious, but there is a sense of not wanting to tempt fate.

So here are the things I know:
Depression is a physical illness that affects the whole body, and has little to do with feeling sad.

I haven’t had a depressive episode in three years. When I say that, it means I haven’t been floored by it, or had to have a lengthy period off sick.

It doesn’t mean I haven’t had depression during that time, I have.

It doesn’t mean I’m thinking of reducing my medication, I wouldn’t dream of it.

It doesn’t mean I don’t have days at a time, when I need to batten down the hatches and hibernate, I do.

I have treatment-resistant depression that I’ve lived with for most of my adult life.
I’ve learned the hard way, what contributes to it, and what helps me to manage it.

Things that help me are:
1. Cold water swimming.
2. Walking.
3. Medication.
4. Strict work boundaries.
5. Solitude
6. Talking

Things that don’t help me are:
1. Busy ness.
2. Blurred boundaries.
3. Reduced medication.
4. Comparison.
5. Becoming all peopled out.
6. Relentless noise.

The lists aren’t exhaustive.
I’ve learnt to manage it. 
It’s a chronic illness like any other. 
It fluctuates.

This is how it is for me.
I hesitate to write because I know how hard it is when you’re in the middle of an episode.
If that’s you, please know I’m with you.
I remember.

But I write because I want to offer some hope.
That’s all.

Much love xx

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

20 years of ministry

I hadn't realised it myself. I'm not very good with dates, and years, and anniversaries. But yesterday my Facebook Timeline was full of it. It's 20 years since we were commissioned and ordained. 28th May 1993 at The Royal Albert Hall, London. As I listened to 'Our Songs' The ones written for us, and for the occasion I became a bit nostalgic. As I looked at the video And saw my friends and colleagues I almost felt a pang of grief For the people we were The things we shared. But this is a letter to the 25 yr old girl I was then From the woman I am now "You made it! By the skin of your teeth at times but you got there in the end. And this ending Full of brass, and drums, and singing and laughter and drama and dance is just the beginning. In the years ahead you will know joy Real joy Laughing so hard no sound comes out. Friendships that are only in their infancy here Will become your anchor in the days ahead. And people that
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Song

Image
It's our Silver Wedding Anniversary on Tuesday. 25 years. I told someone the other day and she gasped, and said, "You don't look old enough" Which is absolutely the right response. We're having a few friends over next Friday night to celebrate. There will be food And dancing And fun And song. 'Our song' to be precise. As we met in the 80's, Our song is 'Solid' (Ashford and Simpson). It's the song we used to dance to at parties. It's the song that made us laugh. It's the song we always talk about when reminiscing. Our 25 years together hasn't been perfect You won't be surprised to hear that. There has been much joyful song. But sometimes the notes have turned dischordant. Sometimes we've sung in a minor key. More recently we have sung songs of lament. But to mis-quote Gloria Gaynor We have survived. We're still standing (Elton John) And we're still singing from the same hymn
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Friend

Five minute Friday. Write. Don't check, or edit, just write for the pure love of it. The prompt is FRIEND I had a card from a friend today. We started as colleagues. Our paths crossed a few times. But over the past year she has become a friend. And as a friend She knew what this weekend meant for us. She remembered. She acted. But friends are all different aren't they? Over the past 12 months our friends have been: Some practical Some ever-present Some prayerful Some encouraging Some business as usual Some helpless Some distant And sadly, some very noticeable by their absence. I don't blame them It's not been easy to be our friend this year. But I thank God for all of them And pray that the absent ones are not gone forever. I'm also challenged. "If you want a friend, be a friend" The saying goes. I pray my friends will always know where to come. And if not, that I'll meet them where they are. And when I fail as a f
Read more