On World Mental Health Day

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=14KD9UfZ7XaLI2q-LEgDKMU2RS3JnFUsE

My name’s Karen and I live with depression.
It’s been three years since my last major episode.

On World Mental Health Day I want to write something, but I almost didn’t for a number of reasons.

1. The second sentence above. It’s been three years.
2. I have spoken to friends as recently as this week, who are really ill with depression.
3. I’m not superstitious, but there is a sense of not wanting to tempt fate.

So here are the things I know:
Depression is a physical illness that affects the whole body, and has little to do with feeling sad.

I haven’t had a depressive episode in three years. When I say that, it means I haven’t been floored by it, or had to have a lengthy period off sick.

It doesn’t mean I haven’t had depression during that time, I have.

It doesn’t mean I’m thinking of reducing my medication, I wouldn’t dream of it.

It doesn’t mean I don’t have days at a time, when I need to batten down the hatches and hibernate, I do.

I have treatment-resistant depression that I’ve lived with for most of my adult life.
I’ve learned the hard way, what contributes to it, and what helps me to manage it.

Things that help me are:
1. Cold water swimming.
2. Walking.
3. Medication.
4. Strict work boundaries.
5. Solitude
6. Talking

Things that don’t help me are:
1. Busy ness.
2. Blurred boundaries.
3. Reduced medication.
4. Comparison.
5. Becoming all peopled out.
6. Relentless noise.

The lists aren’t exhaustive.
I’ve learnt to manage it. 
It’s a chronic illness like any other. 
It fluctuates.

This is how it is for me.
I hesitate to write because I know how hard it is when you’re in the middle of an episode.
If that’s you, please know I’m with you.
I remember.

But I write because I want to offer some hope.
That’s all.

Much love xx

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