Earth is crammed with heaven

Christmas Eve. A night of possibilities. Light. Life. Love. As the sun sets, and darkness covers the earth the world waits in hushed expectancy. Stars appear more radiant. Lights seem brighter, We wait... 'Today you will know that the Lord will come, and in the morning you will see His glory.' Exodus 16:6-7 Tonight we will know... And In the morning we will see... Glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth peace for you and me on whom his favour rests. Rest in his favour tonight. Feel His love. Know His presence. For His name shall be called Immanuel which means God With Us.

It bothers me every year. And I've already received several emails on 'the dangers of Halloween' from well-meaning individuals. Well my name's Karen and I don't mind it. I'm a Christian, and I've just carved my first pumpkin of the year. I lead a church and I've allowed my children to go 'trick or treating'. These are my reasons: Firstly I love pumpkins! Pumpkin cake, pumpkin soup, toasted pumpkin seeds if you're feeling virtuous, What's not to like? Carving them is hard work. I recommend a proper pumpkin carver, after the first year when I nearly lost my fingers using a carving knife. An ice-cream scoop is great for scooping out the flesh. I pull the stringy bits out by hand to rescue the pumpkin seeds. The difference with mine is I do one of two designs: Or The carvings speak for themselves. Jesus, the light of the world. Or Carve a heart for World Vision. The effect is beautiful. The message clear....

Chris and I went for a coffee this morning. It was a nice little cafe in a place we hadn't been before. We were pleased to see flat-whites on the menu. Described underneath as a double-shot espresso with frothy milk. Perfect. I ordered a skinny one... A token gesture... There was a young girl being trained, She was told it was a 'bald cappucino'  with no chocolate or biscuit. It sounded fairly accurate... "Except it's double-shot" I added helpfully. "Not here it's not. We do our own version." I kindly pointed out the menu. She stood corrected, never having noticed this phenomena before... When it arrived it was a very strong coffee with a teeny bit of milk and what looked like a teeny froth of skinny milk. I'm beginning to wonder if it was something else entirely You hear such stories of the practices of disgruntled waiters... Apparently their version doesn't include a frothy top. But we had a nice lunch I e...

I said goodbye today. Again. Seems like my life has been full of goodbyes in the last few months. Or rather "See you soon"'s as goodbye became too painful. And now we're in a new house. New church. New job. And the boys are at new schools and colleges. Anyway, back to today. I drove quite a few miles for a final meeting with someone who has shared my journey for the last 18 months. She has heard my story. Witnessed my tears. Laughed with me. Taken me tenderly forward to a place of discovery and growth. ` And you know It felt ok. It felt right to be saying goodbye. Part of the reason, I believe, was something I read earlier this morning. I was in my favourite coffee shop. That sells amazing bread. And the most perfect flat whites I've ever tasted. But I digress.... I asked God if there was anything I needed to know before I went to say goodbye. As I opened my journal, and looked down the page. I read this: You've always given me...

Everything changes they say. The only certainty in life is that nothing stays the same. In recent weeks our family has changed Location Home Work School Ministry Stress levels are surprisingly low. But we are tired. Our brains are fried from information overload. And in the thrill of meeting new people We shed the occasional, silent tear for those we miss. We are going to a funeral today. Saying farewell to a lady who loved life. She had a beautiful smile An infectious giggle. And a rather naughty sense of humour at times. (I love that in a person.) Life will never be the same for those who loved her. A guilty relief at less responsibility, which gives more time, feels bittersweet when we lose those we love. We long to see their smile... Hear their voice... Feel their touch... Just one more time. So I'm praying for those who mourn today. My arms are ready to embrace with a hug that says a thousand words when words fail. But I'm praying for ...

I walked up Reigate Hill last week. Nothing unusual there. But since Daisy joined our family I've been exploring. Taking different paths. Places she can run. Last week I stopped at Reigate Fort. It was used during the wars. Now it's a great place for children to play. Some of the old buildings are still there. And there's a big grassy area that's perfect for dogs to run. The sign said that it was a place where the troops would stop for a while. Just long enough for them to replenish their supplies. Weapons Clothing Food. A place for restoration Albeit brief. These days are days of change for many. So much to do and so little time. But I'm reminded that Father God is our fortress. Our refuge Our place of safety. Wherever we are Wherever we go He provides a place on our road. Our fortress. A place to breathe. Take a moment now to fill your lungs with life-giving oxygen. He is here. He provides. He loves. "I pray you'll be ...

I used to be a dancer. Not professionally you understand. But in worship. Mainly before pregnancy changed my body, And the way I viewed myself. But more intensely during my training years, culminating in a performance at The Royal Albert Hall, during our ordination and commissioning. I always think you should quit while you're ahead! And now I'm just a disco diva. Play some music. Dig out my heels. And I'll be there, on the dance floor, for most of the night. A few months ago I put a new worship CD in the car. I do quite a lot of driving in a normal week, so I like to have some options. There were words of a song that kept coming to me. Over and over. "Tears will dry Your heart will mend Your scars will heal You will dance again." My journey of tears, grief and broken-heartedness is well-documented on this blog. But scars? The scars of life and ministry? Of disappointments and betrayal? Of being misunderstood and misrepresented...

Today's post is not for the faint-hearted. Or for the ever-so-slightly squeamish. However as one friend told me this week, she "Loves that I am publicly gross" Perhaps you're used to it? A few weeks ago we were given the gift of Daisy, who delights in being a 20month-old cockerpoo. She has proved to be a real blessing to our family in countless ways, Here she is in all her glory! We take the role of responsible dog-owners very seriously. The long walks, The feeding, The playing, Even the not-so-pleasant task of picking up her poo. Warning! Here comes the gross bit... The problem is if we don't catch her in time No sooner has she expelled it from her rear end, Than she gobbles it up again. Eewww! I know! And today when she did three lots in one walk. And I was walking along with one filled poo bag I didn't get to her third lot before she gobbled it up.... But you know God spoke to me in that moment. And said, "That...

"Mary" Jesus said. She turned and cried out "Master." John 20:16 Amid life With it's twists and turns Hopes and dreams Love calls my name. In times of joy Laughter Excitement Love calls my name. When I doubt Fear Despair Love calls my name In my life With it's twists and turns... hopes and dreams... Love calls my name Love True love Forgiving love Real love A love full of life Hope And possibility Calls me by my name.

Today God is silent But not absent. We rest in his love as we wait for heaven to break through. Oh love that will not let me go.... Find a quiet corner and let your heart remember. http://youtu.be/ZiZ9xXoZ1Mk

I've spent most of today with a lump in my throat. A tightness in my chest. A sense of not really knowing what to do with myself. What to do Where to go How to be. Until a few minutes ago it felt wrong somehow. Part of my longing for something. Anything. That would help make today significant. But isn't this what it's like to grieve? Isn't this how it feels when we wish things were different? When we know God has a plan but it makes no sense in this present moment. Jesus has died. We know the ending. The disciples certainly didn't. The women watched in silent despair as Jesus cried out 'MY GOD! My God? Why? Why have you forsaken me?' Maybe you, Along with me, Feel a bit out of sorts today. You know, I think that's ok. We can sit with the grief of today. God has not forsaken us. It really is finished. Together we scan the skies in the hope of a brighter day.

I want to be her. The one overwhelmed by love and grace. The one who walked where angels feared to tread. The one who wouldn't be told No. I want to be her The one who kneels at Jesus' feet The one who looks into his eyes And lets down her hair. I want to be her The one who took the costliest perfume and broke the bottle. The one who cried happy tears all over Jesus' feet. The one who wipes them lovingly with her silky hair. I want to be her The best beloved The courageous one The one made beautiful by forgiveness I want to be her The one who loves so much So well So completely That when she stands and leaves his presence She spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.

It's been a while. I'm sorry Words have failed me a lot over these past weeks. Regular readers of the blog may remember my well-documented search for joy during most Advents. But this year it's Lent that has passed me by, virtually unnoticed. Lost in the where's And why's. The what The when The who Of life in my world. The truth is this: The events of the past 5 weeks or so have stripped me almost bare. I could feel the resilience I'd worked so hard for being chipped away piece by piece. And now at the start of this holiest of weeks I'm on my knees Pleading for something Anything That will lift me from the place I've fallen. A place of greyness Where anxiety threatens And hope trembles And only love penetrates. 'The ground is level at the foot of the cross And that's where we find ourselves as Holy Week begins.... There is room here for each of us And grace enough for all of us And not one of us stand beyond Hi...

This past fortnight has been a tough one. In the aftermath, these are my thoughts: I believe that God, Father God, Loves me supremely, Irrevocably Unbelievably, Immeasurably. He understands us when humans misunderstand. He values us when we are un-valued. He represents us when we are misrepresented. I believe God speaks through the Bible. Through other people Through my heart and my mind. I believe that God can And often does Redeem everything. But that doesn't mean we should settle for less than the best. I believe that humans make mistakes. When we do, We should admit it, Say sorry And move on. I believe that God works in our lives over periods of time. He prepares us for what lies ahead. He gives us courage. He whispers words of love, And hope, Through the storm. I believe that God fights for us, as people, as individuals, as a family, and not just for our situations. I believe that wounds from friendly fire Cut deeper than those of ene...

Lord, I am open. Open to what you want to do in my life. Open to love Life Joy Peace Open to all you have for me Even though the path may be different to the one I imagined, Or even hoped for. Your love is deep Wide High Strong Unending My faith in you has not faltered. You know the plans you have for me. I am open. 'For I know the plans I have for you, Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, Plans to bring about the future you hoped for.' Jeremiah 29:11

I was on retreat for a few days last week. It was with the Salvation Army officers from our region. Wednesday morning dawned bright and clear. We were sent off with a copy of Psalm 23 clutched tightly in our hands to meditate on and learn during 60 minutes of silence. I set off with my camera in hand. I'd done something similar recently, So already knew the psalm by heart. As I walked I recited and clicked. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. And so on And so forth And it was easy to recite And live As I walked beside the still waters. I heard God speak several times And then I arrived here. And our conversation went like this: God: Well go on then. (I knew what was coming bit couldn't quite believe He was going to say it.) Me: What? G: Lie down in green pastures. Me: You're joking right? It's cold. Damp. Frosty. Muddy. And I'm wearing a skirt. And a new cardigan. G: ...

He called me daughter. With a smile on his face. A twinkle in his eye. His arms outstretched. I  ran and jumped into his arms. And he swung me high. Held me close. And we laughed. How we laughed. Deep belly-chuckles. Giggles so high they robbed us of breath. My girl. You're my girl. Always. 'Daughter, your faith has given you life. Go in peace' Luke 8:48