Earth is crammed with heaven

I often offer to help people. I guess you do too. It goes with the territory I suppose. Often I'm not taken up on the offer. And it ends with a 'You know where I am if you need me.' And the ball is in their court. And I can be satisfied that I've offered. Sort of. And then there are times when what I'm asked to do Is not quite what I had in mind And it kind of spoils my plans And things don't really turn out as I'd hoped. My favourite way of helping usually involves coffee And cake And a listening ear. But sometimes... Often, It's not about me; What I want What I'd like And more about just getting on with what's required. I joke with the boys and say 'Just do it for Jesus.' He knows. He sees. He understands we'd rather be doing something else. And it's ok to feel that way. Really. I guess my point is I need to embrace the whole of my life, My work, for what it is... A gift. Even if some of ...

I've had a couple of people ask where my blog posts are. The truth is I'm not sure. These past months have been a time of healing Discovery Growth Grace. And the writing has been a bit side-lined. Maybe because some of it is too personal to share publicly... Maybe because God has been speaking to me so directly I fear ridicule or disbelief.... Or maybe in this season the writing is not as urgent as once it was. Not because I don't have things to say But because I have so much to say I don't know where to begin. So here are the truths I see at the moment: God directs our paths Our days, our months, our years In ways I cannot begin to comprehend But am utterly in awe of. God, who begins a good work in us, will bring it to completion. Maybe not today Maybe not tomorrow But someday. God can be trusted With my children My life My hopes My dreams. God is the one who ransoms Heals Restores Forgives. He loves me. Bigger Better Brighter ...

I don't mind it when the clocks change. I quite like drawing curtains Lighting lamps, Candles, Snuggling up. Autumn can be the most beautiful season of all. Clear blue skies. Crunchy leaves just waiting to be kicked. Brilliant sunshine. It's the grey days I hate Misty Gloomy Dull. This year I have a SAD lamp for the first time. I shine it on me for about an hour a day. It is said to help mood Food cravings And general well being. Time alone will tell if it helps. In this time of darkness I look for light. Candles Lamps Jesus. The light that brings light to everyone was coming into the world. The light shines in the darkness And the darkness has never put it out. Never. Light wins. Jesus wins. Always. Forever.

It feels like a long and lonely road sometimes. The road to recovery I mean. There are things I am relishing as if they are chocolate-covered. They make me feel fulfilled And free And like the me I want to be. And then there is the other stuff. The requests. The 'would you mind?''s And ' how about this?' And 'Do you think you could?' The tough stuff. Not hard in itself But I have restrictions I have to. It's the way of healing for me. And sometimes I have to say No. Because if I say Yes as I want to The consequences are too great The price too high. But sometimes After an initial panic And anger  And tears of frustration The big picture alters And I can. Not because I need to be pushed. Don't think that. The truth is that most days are a battle. But just because the situation changes. Today was one of those days that my no became yes. And I came out feeling epic! And had chocolate tiffin to celebrate. And the little girl inside me The one with blonde...

We met up with some friends the other Sunday. It was Bank Holiday weekend and our last Sunday off in a while. We started laughing from almost the moment we met at the seaside. Our children had fun. We ate chips and ice cream. Drank coffee and posed for silly photos. It was a good day. Over the last few weeks I've been thinking of how our friendship began. We have ancient family links. But that's not uncommon in The Salvation Army. They came to our church on placement when they were training. I think they wondered what they were coming to. I'm not sure what they learnt in practical skills,  Except that chaos in worship can be ok.... Sometimes. Whether it's more polite to swallow or spit your coffee when someone says something really funny. And maybe that it's ok to 'come as you are' in ministry. No pretence necessary. At the very end of their placement our world fell apart. And it was then that the real change happened. The supporters became the supported.  T...

I left home for some quiet time with God this morning. Ended up in a cafe. Lovely coffee Melt-in-your-mouth pain-au-chocolat But  SO MUCH NOISE. I ended up taking photos of my very first 'Stumpy' Turned out it was a flat-white. And sending snapchats of a grown man wearing a crown... (It was one of those days.) And sharing very silly messages back and forth as a result. It was fun. Not what was intended But fun just the same. And God? He was there too. You know 'Quiet time' Isn't always possible. However 'I am always aware of the Lord's presence. He is near, and nothing can shake me.' Psalm 16:8 Almost....

It's 2 years today since Dad left this world. We decided as a family that we wouldn't make a big thing of special dates. We miss our loved ones every day. We talk, Laugh, And think about them. And we thank God for them. They left us a legacy of faith Hope And love in many forms. On Tuesday this week we walked the Gower Coastal Path. It has stunning views and is a place Dad lived and worked. I found it quite emotional. Spending time in 'The land of my Fathers' Literally. A pilgrimage of sorts. As we laughed with friends, Paused to take breath, And wonder at the beauty of creation, I thanked God for my Dad, And my Grandad, And my in-laws, The truth is we miss them all the time. I'm not sure time makes their absence easier. I wish they could share in our lives now as the boys grow older. I don't believe they can see our every move. Heaven forbid! But I think that somehow they know... And are proud. I guess our act of remembrance is carrying on. Knowing they are in ...