Earth is crammed with heaven

It feels like a long and lonely road sometimes. The road to recovery I mean. There are things I am relishing as if they are chocolate-covered. They make me feel fulfilled And free And like the me I want to be. And then there is the other stuff. The requests. The 'would you mind?''s And ' how about this?' And 'Do you think you could?' The tough stuff. Not hard in itself But I have restrictions I have to. It's the way of healing for me. And sometimes I have to say No. Because if I say Yes as I want to The consequences are too great The price too high. But sometimes After an initial panic And anger  And tears of frustration The big picture alters And I can. Not because I need to be pushed. Don't think that. The truth is that most days are a battle. But just because the situation changes. Today was one of those days that my no became yes. And I came out feeling epic! And had chocolate tiffin to celebrate. And the little girl inside me The one with blonde...

We met up with some friends the other Sunday. It was Bank Holiday weekend and our last Sunday off in a while. We started laughing from almost the moment we met at the seaside. Our children had fun. We ate chips and ice cream. Drank coffee and posed for silly photos. It was a good day. Over the last few weeks I've been thinking of how our friendship began. We have ancient family links. But that's not uncommon in The Salvation Army. They came to our church on placement when they were training. I think they wondered what they were coming to. I'm not sure what they learnt in practical skills,  Except that chaos in worship can be ok.... Sometimes. Whether it's more polite to swallow or spit your coffee when someone says something really funny. And maybe that it's ok to 'come as you are' in ministry. No pretence necessary. At the very end of their placement our world fell apart. And it was then that the real change happened. The supporters became the supported.  T...