Earth is crammed with heaven

The sun shines today. The breeze is weak and leaves me wanting more. Birds chirrup in the trees And I wish I could see within the thick, leafy branches that protect them. Sport is on today. Men in black with whistles, Or white coats and wavy arms, Or in blazer with microphone Keep order. And I wish I could click my heels and be by the sea. Life happens today. Conversations and choices Food and drink Work and rest And I wish I could hand over the reins to someone else for a while. God is here today. In the breath that I breathe The words that I read The life that is mine And I wish..... I wish I could know.... "TRUST ME"

I've been quite quiet on the blog lately. You may have noticed. Equally you may not. It's not all about me after all. I had thought about posting something from the Archives. Until about 5 mins ago when I read "Your story: What silences you?" The truth is that my ongoing battle with depression, or the black dog as it's affectionately known, frequently silences me. Not because of brain fog Or lack of concentration Or other symptoms of depression. But more a sense of disappointment, devastation, maybe even shame, that I'm in that place once again. It's hard for me to accept that all the coping mechanisms I put in place: The walking The running The quiet times The trying to pace myself and not take on too much The CBT Have all failed me. Again. So here I am Signed off sick. Ordered to self-care While trying to silence the voice of the enemy that says I'm a failure. I'm letting people down. I'm in the wrong job. ...