Wednesday, 24 September 2014

I did it! All by myself!

It feels like a long and lonely road sometimes.
The road to recovery I mean.

There are things I am relishing as if they are chocolate-covered.
They make me feel fulfilled
And free
And like the me I want to be.

And then there is the other stuff.
The requests.
The 'would you mind?''s
And 'how about this?'
And 'Do you think you could?'
The tough stuff.

Not hard in itself
But I have restrictions
I have to.
It's the way of healing for me.

And sometimes I have to say No.
Because if I say Yes as I want to
The consequences are too great
The price too high.

But sometimes
After an initial panic
And anger 
And tears of frustration

The big picture alters
And I can.
Not because I need to be pushed.
Don't think that.
The truth is that most days are a battle.
But just because the situation changes.

Today was one of those days that my no became yes.
And I came out feeling epic!
And had chocolate tiffin to celebrate.

And the little girl inside me
The one with blonde, wavy hair
And freckles
So many freckles
She ran
and jumped 
and shouted at the top of her voice

"I did it! All by myself!"

"I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work through me." 
2 Corinthians 12:9

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