God met me in the wilderness, gave me a microphone and said, "Speak"
I guess my version would be,
God met me in the wilderness, gave me a pen and said, "Write"
And after a few months where I couldn't find my 'pen', the words are flowing thick and fast.
Yesterday I posted about Iraq.
Feelings of helplessness
Then in the early hours of this morning I learnt of the death of Robin Williams.
Rumours are he took his own life
After severe battles with depression.
There are a number of things that have struck me today.
My own battle with depression continues.
Today I picked up my repeat prescription of pills that don't take away the pain
But help me to function.
I also see a counsellor
Take as much space as I can
And exercise when I can be motivated.
I do as much as I possibly can to help me live a normal life.
But the truth is sometimes it's not enough, and I crash.
Today there has been renewed calls for acceptance of depression as an 'illness'.
I won't dignify that with a response.
But I will say this
For every tweet I read,
Or radio presenter that says
If you're struggling call someone
I say no.
Not good enough.
It's really hard being a friend or aquaintance of someone who is depressed,
But if you are,
Please call or text them today to check they're ok as today's events may trigger unwelcome thoughts or feelings.
They won't mind.
But they will rarely make that call themselves.
It's too hard.
The other thing is
I wonder what Robin Williams would have made of the outpouring of love, loss and grief that his death has wrought?
Did he know how precious he was?
Maybe he did
But the pain was still too much to bear.
Tell those around you how much you love and appreciate them.
Speak that word.
Send that text.
Get the message through somehow.
It might be a matter of life and death.
I posted yesterday that prayers for atrocities can seem futile.
I remembered today that while prayer is often our last resort,
It should be our first port of call.
So the post-it's are coming out!
All around the house
With Pray for Iraq on them.
Maybe set an alarm on your phone.
Every time you drink your coffee
Or visit that little room!
And pray some more.
That might be a matter of life and death too.