Thursday, 3 October 2013

Forever blowing bubbles

"I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air"

Sing along if you know it.
But if you're singing it at Upton Park,
The home of West Ham United,
You'll have to sing it
Very loud,
Very deep,
And with a London accent.
It's the law.
Sorry.

A few weeks ago a family led a lovely prayer time at our church.
They used the idea of bubbles being like our prayers.
As the bubble machine brought forth thousands of bubbles
They reminded us that our prayers are like bubbles.
We can't hold on to them.
We need to let them go into God's hands.
And when they burst that's like the moment of surrender.

I really liked that
Especially as through the service we kept seeing stray bubbles
Floating around as if from no-where.
Stray prayers...

Then at West Ham in the following week
There were lots of bubbles.
We were praying hard then too!

Last night I thought about a different kind of bubble
One that I place around myself in difficult situations.
Maybe you do it too?

I had to go to something that before our new roles,
I had always attended with 'my shield at my right hand'
aka Chris, my husband.

As I was getting ready my anxiety levels rose
I was glad that Mum came with me,
But that whole evening felt as if I was viewing it from within a bubble
Or more like a plastic shield.
I wanted to be part of it.
But nothing was getting through that barrier.
It was intended to protect me from tears;
But it ended up blocking everything.

Sometimes I think I'd like to live my life in my own personal bubble.
I could pop in there with my family and we'd be safe
Secure
Nothing could touch us
Hurt us
Harm us.

But in my quest to be 'real'
That wouldn't work either.
Being salt and light, sadly doesn't involve spiritual salt cellars.

I asked God lots of questions this morning.
And I have even more questions than I started with.
But isn't that the way?

And being in His presence helped
No surprises there.
God doesn't often give us answers;
But He gives us Himself.

Today has held much weariness
tears
laughter
comfort food
hugs that say a thousand words
reminders that some things are still too soon...
And to be as gentle with myself as I am with others

And the bubbles?

I'll keep praying them
Singing them
Hoping them
And trying...
To release them into the hands of the one who holds me.

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